Last Time for Everything

by Shiloh

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about

This record is dedicated to the memory of Mark Rex and Mike Lippman

credits

released 12 August 2014

Recorded & Engineered by Sean McConnell in the remnants of a miserably cold winter in March, April, and May 2014.
Mixed, Mastered, & Produced by Michael Macdonald in a dark and stuffy room in Pilsen during June and July 2014.

Alex Reindl played guitars and sang, Ryan Ensley played guitars and sang, Calvin Schaller played the drums, Tommy Noir played the bass, All four of them and Sean McConnell clapped their hands and banged drumsticks on the floor on "God Is A Girl" Sean McConnell sang on "Bang For Your Buck"

All words by Alex Reindl and Ryan Ensley
All music by Shiloh except "Can't Hardly Wait" (P. Westerberg)

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Track Name: Bang For Your Buck
More bang for your buck but the kids don't give a fuck
It's just catching trains and hair cuts
Missing things or stomach pains
Did you think your shoes would fit like they always did?
Now you're driving around
Staying at your parents house
And you're calling me up saying,
"All that I love, All that I trust, All that I was and who I've become,
Brings me fear."
Now we're counting on couches
In the living room of some shitty apartment
Did you think your shoes would fit like they always did?
Some kind of golden day and you went and threw it away
Spent all your time feeling fine
And now you're not even okay
And I can't believe anything I see
Cause All that I was and who i'll become brings me fear
Track Name: It's Not Me
If there's someone in your heart
Someone on your arm
If there's someone that you love...
That's their tough luck

And if they call you on the phone
begging to get you alone,
If someone makes you blush.....
That's their tough luck

It's not me
It's not me
It's not easy knowing that you don't love me

Someone's getting drunk
Someone's getting fucked
Someone's fucking up
That's their tough luck

It's not me
It's not me
It's not easy knowing that you don't love me
Track Name: 9 AM
It's 9am and i'm feeling weak
I'm sick of waking up early
And I just missed my train
Guess i'm late again but I don't mind
Cause I hate this job anyhow
Goddamn the things I'll do for a couple bucks
I'm always on a fucking bus
I should be on a bike with wings and
Floating through some dream I don't know why I
Spend my time this way
Did summer let you down?
You just went and walked around
Did nothing all day now it's
Dark at 6 oclock
I won't wake up, no I won't wake up
I won't wake up today
Won't get outta bed, won't see my friends
Won't live my life today
Don't want to be needing bad decisions
Make good reading, i'm feeling bad for feeling
Anything at all
Did summer let you down?
You just went and slept around
Did nothing all day
Now it's dark at 4oclock
Track Name: God Is A Girl
She sighed a smile sadly,
Slid forward to speak
Sun-sinking stomach-aching words to me:

"Twist all your tongues in tandem while the sun is still ink. You've been so quiet, I can't hear myself think."

Late, after it's dark, we'll meet in the park. I just wanna fall in love with someone who I know won't love me back.
But you, you want much more, you're fighting a war and your enemy's the emptiness you swore you'd miss but just went looking for.

Lies lowered like a lantern down into your dark.
I took what I needed from your swollen little heart.

But you took much more than I did. You took some pain.
You took the feeling I'd give my guts to reclaim.

God is a girl, blue eyes and curls and I met her in a drunken haze on State Street after getting off the train.
She bummed me a smoke, I told her a joke that lasted twenty-two years and from her tears I could tell she'd heard this one before.
Track Name: Get Alone
I've been setting fires in strangers beds
Watching other lover's love like they were kids
And I don't even know what I have left to give
I'm feeling overwhelmed by the life I gotta live
Always gotta move gotta move too fast
Don't know where i'm going but my foot is on the gas
And I hate to be a dick when I always push away
But I don't know who I am and i know you wanna stay
It's impossible to be alone when you've got friends to show around
The towns on fire you gotta dig a hole
And find some fucking water
I've been chasing beauty down a one way street
Kissing on these strangers I wouldn't even wanna meet
Cause somethings gotta give gotta make me feel free
Yeah, somethins gotta give gotta make me feel free
Holy shit i'm losing time and getting old so fast
What happened to the car rides and that friend I had
Something sucked him up like a big black void
Now all the things he loved he don't even enjoy
The town's on fire
You gotta dig a hole and find some fuckin' water

A daydream is a nation is a station on the band
Comin outta shitty speakers in an old grand AM
and a car is just a closet, a coffin that you drive
But if you're goin somewhere else can I please get a ride?

Can I take a stake in your sake and just paste it onto me?
Edit all my letters so I know who I should be
I can wake up out of love with anything I see
but the only one who's fucking here is me fucking me

I'm not talking, least of all to you, you're only good for leaving probly something you should do
I'm puking up a story like I drank a pack of lies
And I know when I've been lying I can see it in your eyes

I can never keep a straight face when I'm looking in the mirror
Cuz I know a joke when I see one and I'm seein pretty clear
Been dreamin' of a death where I don't have to die
But the closest I can get is just livin in a lie
Track Name: The Drugs Won't Bring It Back
I just miss drivin' around with the smoke cloudin' up the car...
Summer nights, summer sounds too young to get into the bars
So we drink in basements, puke on the pavement and fall in love with ourselves, not caring what the morning brings, underwater.... Under a spell.

I miss three AM with my fucked up friends and the traffic cone in the drive-thru... gettin bloody coke nose at shitty punk shows and passing out with an illegal smile...Driving drunk to the graveyards gates with a girl you haven't seen in a while and drives to Indianapolis..... This pack will last another mile.

Coffee and smokes and a vicodin grin and the sadness that swallows you whole
Or two bottles of wine and a girl I call mine in a lovely little snowed-in hole...
Oh empty streets, hearts skippin' beats, I'm a man in the back of this car.... Oh the mist and the dark at Meadows Park or the lonely person you are.

And please don't give me a reason to be here with my head in the past.
The love I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back.

I shot dope in a car downtown trying to find the stars in my eyes that I had seen when I was sixteen dreamin' dreams that had yet to die.
And I lost hope as winter tightened the rope around the summer in my head. And I tried to die but lost track of time goin' on the nod again.

Wake up at noon, need a needle and spoon to quiet the laughter I hear ringin' through my mind from another time that's stayed with me through many years.
I miss my brother a lot and smoking pot in the bathtub after school upstairs.
But every day I'm getting further away from the people who really care.

And please don't give me a reason to be here with my head in the past. The life I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back.

Oh the love I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back.
Track Name: Sicker Thoughts / Something Good
Think of you a lot.
I've had sicker thoughts.
Think of you in bed
Think of you in "nots"
I hate how my plans turn into demands.
I stand accused of falling into love a little too soon,
Excuse me if I aim for the moon,
Ended up shooting myself in the foot,
I put it into my mouth felt it not feel good
I should have been your friend,
But I can't get out of bed.

Let me die in ignonimity it's how I want it to be...

So please
Drop your shrill defense.
Let me be your friend.
Oh you're just a tease.
Oh you're just pretend.
I hate how my plans turn into demands.
I stand underneath the sun and watch my good parts die,
Oh God I'm so handsome when I'm high,
Nothing's ever gonna feel as good as you again,
Guess all that means is that we can't be friends,
I should go back to bed
But I can't get out of it
Come on......

Stop the waiting, hesitating, thankless "thanking," thin ice-skating circles circling my departed parts.... I thought we had just started!
I wan't something that ain't nothing.... I wan't someone my own size falling in and out of line in a bathroom stall.

Oh I know when I've got something good: When I feel how I should, When I feel happy.
Love leaves low liars on their toes, when I'm on the phone I'm still alone.

But you could run it by another phony guy, I won't try.
I'm not hangin' up, though I'm still hung up on you.