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Last Time for Everything

by Shiloh

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1.
More bang for your buck but the kids don't give a fuck It's just catching trains and hair cuts Missing things or stomach pains Did you think your shoes would fit like they always did? Now you're driving around Staying at your parents house And you're calling me up saying, "All that I love, All that I trust, All that I was and who I've become, Brings me fear." Now we're counting on couches In the living room of some shitty apartment Did you think your shoes would fit like they always did? Some kind of golden day and you went and threw it away Spent all your time feeling fine And now you're not even okay And I can't believe anything I see Cause All that I was and who i'll become brings me fear
2.
It's Not Me 02:39
If there's someone in your heart Someone on your arm If there's someone that you love... That's their tough luck And if they call you on the phone begging to get you alone, If someone makes you blush..... That's their tough luck It's not me It's not me It's not easy knowing that you don't love me Someone's getting drunk Someone's getting fucked Someone's fucking up That's their tough luck It's not me It's not me It's not easy knowing that you don't love me
3.
9 AM 03:10
It's 9am and i'm feeling weak I'm sick of waking up early And I just missed my train Guess i'm late again but I don't mind Cause I hate this job anyhow Goddamn the things I'll do for a couple bucks I'm always on a fucking bus I should be on a bike with wings and Floating through some dream I don't know why I Spend my time this way Did summer let you down? You just went and walked around Did nothing all day now it's Dark at 6 oclock I won't wake up, no I won't wake up I won't wake up today Won't get outta bed, won't see my friends Won't live my life today Don't want to be needing bad decisions Make good reading, i'm feeling bad for feeling Anything at all Did summer let you down? You just went and slept around Did nothing all day Now it's dark at 4oclock
4.
She sighed a smile sadly, Slid forward to speak Sun-sinking stomach-aching words to me: "Twist all your tongues in tandem while the sun is still ink. You've been so quiet, I can't hear myself think." Late, after it's dark, we'll meet in the park. I just wanna fall in love with someone who I know won't love me back. But you, you want much more, you're fighting a war and your enemy's the emptiness you swore you'd miss but just went looking for. Lies lowered like a lantern down into your dark. I took what I needed from your swollen little heart. But you took much more than I did. You took some pain. You took the feeling I'd give my guts to reclaim. God is a girl, blue eyes and curls and I met her in a drunken haze on State Street after getting off the train. She bummed me a smoke, I told her a joke that lasted twenty-two years and from her tears I could tell she'd heard this one before.
5.
No Good 00:56
6.
Get Alone 04:45
I've been setting fires in strangers beds Watching other lover's love like they were kids And I don't even know what I have left to give I'm feeling overwhelmed by the life I gotta live Always gotta move gotta move too fast Don't know where i'm going but my foot is on the gas And I hate to be a dick when I always push away But I don't know who I am and i know you wanna stay It's impossible to be alone when you've got friends to show around The towns on fire you gotta dig a hole And find some fucking water I've been chasing beauty down a one way street Kissing on these strangers I wouldn't even wanna meet Cause somethings gotta give gotta make me feel free Yeah, somethins gotta give gotta make me feel free Holy shit i'm losing time and getting old so fast What happened to the car rides and that friend I had Something sucked him up like a big black void Now all the things he loved he don't even enjoy The town's on fire You gotta dig a hole and find some fuckin' water A daydream is a nation is a station on the band Comin outta shitty speakers in an old grand AM and a car is just a closet, a coffin that you drive But if you're goin somewhere else can I please get a ride? Can I take a stake in your sake and just paste it onto me? Edit all my letters so I know who I should be I can wake up out of love with anything I see but the only one who's fucking here is me fucking me I'm not talking, least of all to you, you're only good for leaving probly something you should do I'm puking up a story like I drank a pack of lies And I know when I've been lying I can see it in your eyes I can never keep a straight face when I'm looking in the mirror Cuz I know a joke when I see one and I'm seein pretty clear Been dreamin' of a death where I don't have to die But the closest I can get is just livin in a lie
7.
I just miss drivin' around with the smoke cloudin' up the car... Summer nights, summer sounds too young to get into the bars So we drink in basements, puke on the pavement and fall in love with ourselves, not caring what the morning brings, underwater.... Under a spell. I miss three AM with my fucked up friends and the traffic cone in the drive-thru... gettin bloody coke nose at shitty punk shows and passing out with an illegal smile...Driving drunk to the graveyards gates with a girl you haven't seen in a while and drives to Indianapolis..... This pack will last another mile. Coffee and smokes and a vicodin grin and the sadness that swallows you whole Or two bottles of wine and a girl I call mine in a lovely little snowed-in hole... Oh empty streets, hearts skippin' beats, I'm a man in the back of this car.... Oh the mist and the dark at Meadows Park or the lonely person you are. And please don't give me a reason to be here with my head in the past. The love I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back. I shot dope in a car downtown trying to find the stars in my eyes that I had seen when I was sixteen dreamin' dreams that had yet to die. And I lost hope as winter tightened the rope around the summer in my head. And I tried to die but lost track of time goin' on the nod again. Wake up at noon, need a needle and spoon to quiet the laughter I hear ringin' through my mind from another time that's stayed with me through many years. I miss my brother a lot and smoking pot in the bathtub after school upstairs. But every day I'm getting further away from the people who really care. And please don't give me a reason to be here with my head in the past. The life I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back. Oh the love I had then is gone but the drugs won't bring it back.
8.
Think of you a lot. I've had sicker thoughts. Think of you in bed Think of you in "nots" I hate how my plans turn into demands. I stand accused of falling into love a little too soon, Excuse me if I aim for the moon, Ended up shooting myself in the foot, I put it into my mouth felt it not feel good I should have been your friend, But I can't get out of bed. Let me die in ignonimity it's how I want it to be... So please Drop your shrill defense. Let me be your friend. Oh you're just a tease. Oh you're just pretend. I hate how my plans turn into demands. I stand underneath the sun and watch my good parts die, Oh God I'm so handsome when I'm high, Nothing's ever gonna feel as good as you again, Guess all that means is that we can't be friends, I should go back to bed But I can't get out of it Come on...... Stop the waiting, hesitating, thankless "thanking," thin ice-skating circles circling my departed parts.... I thought we had just started! I wan't something that ain't nothing.... I wan't someone my own size falling in and out of line in a bathroom stall. Oh I know when I've got something good: When I feel how I should, When I feel happy. Love leaves low liars on their toes, when I'm on the phone I'm still alone. But you could run it by another phony guy, I won't try. I'm not hangin' up, though I'm still hung up on you.
9.

about

This record is dedicated to the memory of Mark Rex and Mike Lippman

credits

released August 12, 2014

Recorded & Engineered by Sean McConnell in the remnants of a miserably cold winter in March, April, and May 2014.
Mixed, Mastered, & Produced by Michael Macdonald in a dark and stuffy room in Pilsen during June and July 2014.

Alex Reindl played guitars and sang, Ryan Ensley played guitars and sang, Calvin Schaller played the drums, Tommy Noir played the bass, All four of them and Sean McConnell clapped their hands and banged drumsticks on the floor on "God Is A Girl" Sean McConnell sang on "Bang For Your Buck"

All words by Alex Reindl and Ryan Ensley
All music by Shiloh except "Can't Hardly Wait" (P. Westerberg)

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Shiloh Chicago, Illinois

Hot rock

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